While everyone else was adjusting to living with the Corona virus implications, I was suddenly plunged into coping with the other C word as well as the lockdown implications as a single person.
I had already been diagnosed with a low-grade skin cancer before Christmas and was hoping that the scheduled minor op at the end of March would go ahead. However it was cancelled a week before and the same day I then developed completely different unrelated worrying symptoms which was the start of a roller coaster traumatic few weeks. I had numerous medical events and tests including an MRI scan which revealed I needed a biopsy with a low risk of it being cancer and would have to wait until at least July for the biopsy.
So I thought things would settle down only to be told that no, they were doing the op in May and then I tested positive for Covid 19 despite having no symptoms and never have had and so the op was postponed. This continued roller coaster ride of never having time to adjust very nearly pushed me over the edge a few times.
I am convinced that what kept me going was the faithful prayer support of some of my church family as without God in my situation I wouldn’t have come through it. The Daily Encouragements, various sermons, Bible verses people sent me etc also helped me enormously. I also benefited from the Hashtag Me videos and resources.
When the biopsy finally happened, I was in a much better place and saw God’s hand in several situations on the day including being totally at peace when again things were changed with my procedure and it didn’t throw me.
I’ve learnt that it’s ok to acknowledge that there will be a reaction to shock and trauma and loss but there is a way to go through that process healthily in the sure knowledge that you will come out the other side. It was hard to believe I would ever feel better and I felt guilty at being a “rubbish Christian” but I just needed time and came through amazingly quickly. You do get through it and can move on. I felt it was important to worship God and tell Him I trusted Him even if it was only one sentence, because deep within my relationship with God is what matters most, not my circumstances. Also don’t underestimate the power of praying friends!
So I’m awaiting the results of 3 biopsies and the clarification of the surgeon’s findings which were completely opposite to the MRI scan which if he is right is good news and a God miracle.
Postscript: The reports did indeed came back showing that I do not have cancer!